16 September 2011

Mil Spouse Friday Fill-in #58

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won’t.
~Henry Ward Beecher

Head over to wifeofasailor.com for more information on Friday Fill-Ins!
  1. Right now, our weather is perfect (mid-60s, overcast), but what I’d really like is to have all of the above AND get to see Mt. Rainier concurrently.
  2. I like to let my hair down and bust a move; when it's just me and the dogs (and now the baby) we play "Club J******" and groove until we're all wore out
  3. Mommy Rambles made a post about heroes… my hero is  Nikola Tesla, because despite the fact that he was one of the most brilliant scientists of all time (and knew it) he never became so despondent as to give up searching for answers, even when credit for his inventions went to other people and support that should have rightly been his was given to other people
  4. It’s a weird combination, but I swear  french fries  and ice cream  are a perfect pair!
  5. Some may see the glass half empty and others may see it half full, but I  just want it full of liquid courage.

09 September 2011

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #57

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.  
~Ambrose Redmoon
MilSpouse Friday Fill-In
Go to wifeofasailor.com for more information on Friday Fill-Ins.


1. My plans for Labor Day included getting together with hubby's BFF and his wife, but what really happened was we cleaned house and relaxed, for some reason they weren't able to get off Whidbey.
2. Call me crazy, but sometimes I just need to let out a scream and/or punch something. Speaking of which, I can't wait to be cleared by the docs to get back to working out
3. One of the funniest things I’ve seen lately is my son. He's in that newborn stage where he's still figuring out the world and the faces he makes are absolutely priceless!
4. It’s strange, but other people's small children drives me crazy while my own small child is perfectly fine with me!
5. One, two, buckle my shoe… three, four shut the front door (I can't believe I only have one more week with my bubs before I go back to work...sad times)!

02 September 2011

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #56

A life without love is like a year without summer.
~Swedish Proverb

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In
Head over to wifeofasailor.com for more info on Friday Fill-Ins.
  1. My plans for this weekend include no idea, probably sleeping and pumping, but what I’d really like to do is not have to pump and possibly a day trip somewhere nearby like Mt. Rainier or Northwest Trek.
  2. I consider the Labor Day holiday to be an interesting holiday, a great opportunity to see my husband when he's not deployed, and the final nail in the coffin that the school year has indeed gotten into full swing.
  3. My favorite meal for cookouts is beer boiled brats and veggies, but my intestinal tract wouldn’t agree (stupid IBS).
  4. So far, my favorite part of summer has been meeting my baby boy.
  5. When it comes to deployments, my philosophy is hunker down for the long haul, stay busy and remember it's only temporary.

26 August 2011

Mil-Spouse Friday Fill-In (#55)

Sorry to have taken a break last week! BUT, it was only because I was in the hospital after giving birth to my precious new son on the 17th. =)

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
~James H. Boren

Here are the questions this week from wifeofasailor.com. Please go see her blog for more info on the MilSpouse Friday Fill-Ins.
  1. The first thing I think of when I get up in the morning is I wonder what my son needs now.
  2. Lately, I’ve been craving water because this boy is a weed and I need to build up my milk supply for when I go back to work.
  3. Whenever anyone says the word Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, it reminds me of my childhood because my oma was born a German national and that movie title tends to come out of her mouth decidedly less child appropriate than it might seem since there is no real "ch" sound in her dialect (sounds a bit like replacing the C's with S's; and yes, I know, not really "a" word as a string of words, but my best childhood memories are with my oma).
  4. The happiest word I know is  supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, but damned if I can ever spell it correctly (had to look it up!).
  5. My spouse may hate it, but I absolutely love Mexican food or anything spicy.

15 August 2011

My son the PITA

Lot's of inquiring minds were curious today as to why, even though my son dropped into my pelvis 4 weeks ago, I haven't shown any improvement on the dilation/effacement front.

3 hrs and 2 ultrasounds later it's decided that his head cannot dilate my cervix efficiently because he won't stop sucking his thumb. My pelvis is narrow enough that the shoulder movement required to get his hands to his face prevents his head from descending far enough into my pelvis to put any worthwhile pressure on the cervix and dilate it.

I cannot begin to express how unamused I am by this turn of events. There is nothing wrong with my son and if he'd stopped sucking his damned thumb 2 weeks ago the show would have been on the road and he'd be here right now. No one thought to do an ultrasound then though. They're giving him one more week to give up the thumb in utero and then forcing him out whether he wants to or not.

Unfortunately for me this does nothing to help my work/maternity leave/sick days situation. I hope your thumb was worth it, son, cause Mom is mad.

14 August 2011

Annnnnddddddd....

...another person with my due date has given birth.

I am upset. I am the last preggo standing.

Now we move onto those who are due after me. (And by after I mean due after me by at least 2 wks) Several of them are further along in the "my body is ready" process and I'm thinking some of them will probably give birth before me, especially since my MTF is so hesitant/refuses to give me an induction date.

I'm also upset because now there is no chance to save my sick-leave days which means that my maternity leave will end up with me starting off the new year, in a new district a) not being with my students at the start of school but b) docked pay right out of the gate. I'm already facing not getting a paycheck for Sept, but now my Oct paycheck will be docked for every day I miss making the paycheck that much smaller. Additionally, all appointments for me and my son, both routine and sick-based will be docked out of my paycheck as well -- since I won't have any sick-leave days to use. It also means that when I start out the next school year I'll be starting from the bare minimum...again.


I wish I could be more optimistic about things but I'm too much tired of this whole process and feel like I'm going to seriously break down at any moment.

13 August 2011

TroopPaws Give Away over at MrsMamaHen

MrsMamaHen is holding a give away for one of these adorable Troop Paws pups. Similar in concept as the Daddy Dolls sometimes popularized to give to kiddos for when their parent is deployed, but I think a hell of a lot cuter (and less creepy).

Check her and the Troop Paws out.

12 August 2011

Purposefully elusive

No one can say I'm boring. More/better update later.

ETA: soooo...i am due to pop out my little boy any day now. I'm warned at my last appointment that I need to have all metal jewelry removed prior to arrival at labor and delivery as a precaution. I'd changed out my metal belly bar for a plastic one months ago out of comfort, but had yet to change out my 7 earrings. Problem being that it had been several years since I had touched any of them. Somewhere between 2 and 5 i would guess. The backings and the posts had all pretty much fused together. I had the brilliant idea of using pliers. Maybe you can see where I'm going with this.

Four out of the 5 lobe piercings came out just fine. The 5th did not and after pulling the gem out (accidentally) and flattening the prong setting (accidentally), I didn't have a good grasp and pulled the flattened prongs halfway through the piercing hole...of course, accidentally. Now I am bleeding profusely out of my ear. My mom is useless and says let's go to the ER.

I will now lose the hole, for now, but after 2 hrs I am metal free sporting a swollen stitched up ear lobe. Wonder if my husband will notice.

Mil-Spouse Friday Fill-In (#53)

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. 
~e.e. cummings
MilSpouse Friday Fill-In
Head over to Wife of a Sailor for more info on Friday Fill-Ins.


1. The best thing my parents taught me to do when I was a child was _________________.
...be independent. I wasn't always the most forward of children and definitely had a shy streak (I think I had to have been 7 years old or more before I could order for myself at a restaurant). However, they certainly let me take charge of what I wanted to do and it's come in handy as a milspouse to be able to figure how to do things on my own or strike out and do something without needing a push.

2. However, one thing I wish they did differently was _________________.
...treat my brother and I more equitably. I totally get that every child is unique and that one technique may not work for all of your children; we see that all the time in education and I fully believe that. However, I think that they've done him a bit of a disservice. He's fully capable of being a successful, contributing member of society and yet because they were not as tough on him to stick with things, go outside his comfort zone, become more independent, etc...he's living at home, without a job, overweight, after flushing away an 80K college scholarship -- at 27 yrs. old. This to me is unacceptable.

3. One thing I’ve always wanted to try but haven’t is _________________.
...woodworking. I love doing things with my hands. I don't mind buying furniture that requires some assembly and I LOVE to craft. I bake more than I cook because most of it requires more use of your hands as part of the process. I would love to get into woodworking and making my own furniture from the bottom up, but I'm hesitant because of the cost involved, the time involved, etc.

4. One thing I never thought I’d try but I have is _________________.
...being a milspouse. My whole family is military. My parents met in the Army National Guard. My aunt and uncle were dual military. Most other uncles were in the military. Both of my grandfathers served in WWII and beyond. I was lucky in that my parents didn't constantly move because of being Guard only; but my cousins were constantly in new places. It was cool for me getting to visit them in all of these awesome/new places but you could tell they suffered for it. They're unusually close and dependent on each other for support and I believe that their education, especially in the early formative years, took a hit because standards are not uniform across all states/overseas. I swore up, down, left, right, and halfway to Sunday that I'd never end up with a military man -- and I did.

5. If I could give my 16-year-old self one piece of advice I’d tell myself _________________.
...don't lose your head. Everything is sooooo dramatic when you're a teenager. Yes, it takes knowing the bad stuff to appreciate the good but you're going to hit times much worse than you can even imagine at this point in your life so you might as well enjoy the good stuff now while you can. Water off a duck's back, hun!

05 August 2011

Well....

...This is going to be long and involved.

Mostly because I don't feel like I have a place I can vent about this without pissing someone else off. I would love to vent about this with my fertility group friends but apparently the ones left who are not pregnant yet are tired of hearing from those of us who're pregnant about our troubles because it reminds them that they're not pregnant yet. And I can't vent about it in regular formats like Facebook or whatever because quite frankly that's where some of this need to vent is coming from and besides that, when I vent about anything on FB I get ugly messages from my husband's sisters accusing me of not being thankful for what I have, etc. Nevermind that my husband and I have problems frequently because he doesn't know how to or refuses to talk about ANY issue that comes up. My parents see this as this huge major issue that **they** have to fix (last I checked, I'm the one married to the jerk). Stupid me thought that having my mother here while I'm due to give birth "any day" would be a smart idea because you never know when you're going to go into labor and I didn't want to be waiting around on my husband to make the 2 hr round trip to come out here to get me and then get us back on post in time to actually make it into labor and delivery prior to my son's arrival...you know, assuming that he's somewhere on post with cell reception and gets my phone call in a timely matter.

Anyhoo, I'm tired of being pregnant. Just done. I'll be 39 weeks *very* soon and I want this kid out. The pregnancy has been a bit rough. I had bleeding off and on during the first 2 trimesters. I've developed PUPPS and SPD. I don't think I've had a restful night's sleep or a pain/itch free day since I hit 20 wks and I'm working on sleep deprivation that's been additive since that time. We PCS'd (read: moved 2500 miles because the Army said so) and my husband left me to take care of the details regarding that on my own. That is no small feat when you're not grossly pregnant, etc. but I had to conquer that mess (to include fighting with USAA over our mortgage approval after coming out here and finding a house worth buying, etc). He was as uninvolved as you could possibly be in that process. I had to leave my job in KY before the end of the school year and be docked pay accordingly because of that. Because I had to leave my job in KY that meant I was trying to find a new job in WA at nearly 8 months pregnant and despite being heavily qualified for every position I applied for I was being denied left and right with some superficial external reason to cover their butts so that I couldn't sue for being discriminated against. Meanwhile, my husband began to say horribly mean things to me like "getting pregnant when we did was a mistake" and "you better be willing to flip burgers after the kid is born" and any other number of just ridiculous hurtful things.

Yes I ended up finding a job, but the only reason I ended up with the job is because I was finally able to produce a teaching certificate that proved I was certified to teach any of the sciences and they weren't sure what they might need a teacher to teach past this upcoming school year. The timing of my pregnancy is beyond inconvenient to them and I am more than acutely aware of this with the constant phone calls to check on my progress, etc. I can't make even the simplest inquiries about something pertinent to how this school year is going to run for me, since I'm teaching subjects I've never taught before, without asking permission to get inside the building or having someone prod me information about when my son will be here.

I am also getting paid less than I have ever been paid....ever. And the only way to rectify that is to finish my masters degree. Except to do that I need money. If I don't enroll in a class this fall I am suspended from the program and must reapply to get back in, which I don't have time for. Yet because I left KY early my checks are smaller. And because WA schools don't start until almost a month later than what I'm used to there looks to be a month where I'm not getting a paycheck to begin with. Nevermind the fact that I have NO sick leave built up because I am new to this WA district. If this kid is not here by Tuesday I have to take maternity leave and start burning complimentary sick leave. If this kid comes on his due date, I still have to take maternity leave, but will have burned through ALL of my complimentary sick leave prior to being able to go to work which leaves me taking deductions in my pay before I even set foot in the door with students. Not to mention that both my son and I will require regular doctor's appointments to assess our health status after delivery and that each of those days will then be docked against my paychecks too. Heaven forbid one or both of us ever get sick and I have to take days off then because again it will be unpaid. Just accounting for maternity leave and the late start to the school year my next paycheck may not be for another 2 months and while I have tried my best to prepare for this I am uncertain that I can be a financially contributing member to my nuclear family. Considering how my husband treated me upon facing the fact that I might not be generating any incoming while going through the job hunting process I do not necessarily relish the idea that he's going to see me as some burden to carry and make no qualms about letting me know that. All things considered it seems extremely unlikely that going to school this fall can happen financially; which will just have an awesome domino effect on our finances seeing as how I'll have to reapply to the program and it delays finishing the program in enough time for it to affect my next year's salary.

My very expensive computer is also on the fritz, as in the screen display won't stay on. I don't know how much it will cost me to have that fixed, though I can imagine it will be some inordinate amount of money that neither my husband nor I were planning on. I'm usually fastidious about backing up my data and it occurred to me right after this happened that somehow between the move and my pregnancy brain that I'd left off backing up like I should. There are extremely important things on that computer now that are NOT on my external hard drive, but because the display won't stay on I have no way of backing up my data prior to taking the computer in to be fixed. Any place I take it will offer to back up my stuff for me, of course....for an additional fee which is incredibly frustrating because dammit I can do it for FREE myself.

I love my mom and I'm glad she's here "in case" but I can't take her constantly harping on me day in and day out about how I'm not doing anything to help my marriage. Without getting into the litany of things I've tried over the last 2.5 years to get my husband to pull his head out of his ass on put us on the same page...let's just say that I'm tired of doing all the work. I'm 9.5 months pregnant. I'm just....tired. Of everything. And I don't have the energy to fight with anyone right now. Not my husband, not my mom, not anyone. Thankfully the husband understands this and is pretty much on his best behavior right now, but every. single. day. my mom is picking a fight with me about something that she doesn't like. I almost wish she wasn't here anymore, except that the second I tell her to go back home I know I'm invoking Murphy's Law and I'll need her to take me to the hospital.

Which brings me to the straw that broke the camel's back:
I'm still pregnant. Every single person I've known who had (yes, had!) a due date within 2 days of mine has already given birth. Early. They all have their birth stories and cute baby pictures up on Facebook with everyone cooing and awwing over their new arrivals. Yes, I'm glad for them...but I don't want to hear about it right now because not only do I not have my boy here yet, but it looks as if he's more than content to stay in there.

I've been having all these signs that my body is working at getting him out of there (WARNING TMI): losing my mucus plug, menstrual style cramping, dried blood in my ever increasing amount of discharge, i haven't had a solid bowel movement in weeks, the kid has dropped...a LOT. But my cervix is apparently still behind my son's head, it's not really effaced at all and it's only dilated to about 1.5 cm. I feel like a failure that my body seems to be working so hard and NOTHING, almost nothing is happening. It's not just that I'm jealous that they all have their babies right now (obviously that's part of it), but their bodies did things right and mine seems like it doesn't know what to do and I'm left mad and frustrated...and hugely, uncomfortably pregnant without any sign of relief. I know...I won't be pregnant forever, but I had this idea that I was going to be able to do this thing naturally. That I wouldn't have to force my body to get this kid out, that it was going to be wonderful, beautiful experience. Now it's probably going to end up with me being induced with either my kid being so drugged upon his arrival or me being drugged from a c-section that I won't be able to appreciate it like I expected to. And of course, having to wait to do any of this for another 2 wks because my OB/GYN clinic won't induce me until 41 wks.

You know the worst thing about this is that I don't feel like I have an outlet.

My fertility friends don't want to hear about this stuff because some of them are jealous that they aren't pregnant yet and they would kill just to be pregnant and deal with any of the things I'm dealing with because -- OMG it means I get to have a baby!
But that doesn't meant that I don't still need to vent.

I can't just put this all over FB because I don't want to ruin my other friends who've had their babies' happiness and I don't want to incur any wrath from his sisters or anyone else that I'm ungrateful. I know I have a job, I have a house and plenty of other things to be thankful for and I am....but I'm also just beat-up tired and have been going through a LOT of bullshit over the last 5 months or so.
I still need to vent.

When I try to talk about any of this with my husband I either get "the wall" or an argument and I don't need that right now.
I just need to vent.


Most of my friends and family don't know that I have this blog, so hopefully I can get away with this post here. I really apologize to those of you just stumbling across this who managed to read it all. I'm not normally such a sour puss...I just needed to get it out.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in (#52)

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today. 
~Cherokee Proverb
MilSpouse Friday Fill-In 
Go here for more information on MilSpouse Friday Fill-ins: http://wifeofasailor.com/


1. Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and ___________________.
… and you'll never be able to get the stink of dead fish out of your garage.

2. It is amazing what you can accomplish if  ___________________.
… you put your mind to it.

3. If you can’t stand the heat ___________________.
… suck it up or move to Alaska.

4. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to ___________________.
… the crap going on in the here and now.

5. Well behaved women seldom ___________________.
…know what they're talking about; you gotta live a little to learn a lot.

29 July 2011

Mil-Spouse Friday Fill-In (#51)


MilSpouse Friday Fill-In
For more info go here: http://wifeofasailor.com/

This week’s questions are:
1. Facebook or Twitter?
I have a Twitter and never use so Facebook, ftw.
2. Hard Tacos or Soft Tacos?
Tough question for a TX gal -- I'd probably go hard taco though.
3. Gardening or crafting?
Crafting! I like being outside, a lot, but I'm not very good at keeping a running mental catalog of what plant needs X-amount of water/sunlight/etc. However I am awesome at crafting! You name it and I can probably do it. My husband is constantly annoyed at how my craft projects take up room/make a mess/etc.
4. Fruit or vegetables?
Fruit for sure, I've got a huge sweet tooth and you'll never be able to offer me veggies as a snack over fruit.
5.  Motorcycle or bicycle?
Can neither be an option? Motorcycles are a bit dangerous for my tastes (though I've ridden on them before without problem!); I don't think I could be on a motorcycle on highways. Then again you wouldn't take a bicycle on a highway either, but I don't like doing a hell of a lot of work which is what a bicycle means.

22 July 2011

Mil-Spouse Friday Fill-In (#50)


MilSpouse Friday Fill-In 
Go here for more info. 

1. Do you eat raw cookie dough? 
 mmmmm...cookie dough. *drools* Why yes, yes I do. In fact, this question makes me want to go whip up a batch of homemade dough for the purpose of snacking in between each set of cookies in the oven.
2. When you get online for the first time of the day… what site do you immediately head to?
homepage defaults to my gmail email. after that I make the rounds on FB, LJ, Yahoo!News, G+, my military spouse site and Blogger.
3. What was your favorite pet as a child and why? 
my first pet was probably my fav. Fletcher was the tan and black dachshund that my parents got when they first married. But when I came around and then eventually my brother it was like he was made for us kiddos. One of the best dogs you could ever have imagined and I hope my current pups turn out to be "made" for our children too.
4. If you had a snail that could magically grant wishes, what would you name it?
Hmmm...Sheldon probably.
5. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?
I don't actually like tootsie roll anything...not even pops. However I am sleuth-y and tootsie.com says: "It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc. Basically, the world may never know."

14 July 2011

Mil-Spouse Friday Fill-In (#49)


If you're looking for more information on the Fill-in go to Wife of a Sailor's blog.


1. If you could have a private concert with any singer, who would it be?

Tough question, um...Josh Turner. By all accounts he's a good man, he's awesome eye candy and his voice is like melted butter.


2. Is there anything you do to supplement your family’s income?

I teach high school science. Previously it's been all chemistry (with some astronomy, earth science and physics thrown in), but as of today I was offered a position teaching marine biology, zoology and biology. I am certified to teach any science though so I imagine in the near future I'll have other subjects to add to my belt.


3. During your pregnancy (whether past, present, or future), what did you nickname your unborn baby before you knew the sex?

This one was sea monkey or parasite until we knew it was a boy. Then he became bubba. I still call him bubba when I talk to him internally. Like if his squirming causes the SPD to flare up and I'm trying to do something I'll give him a mental "Not NOW, Bubba!"


4. Have you ever won a blog giveaway? If so what did you win?

I don't really participate in blog giveaways. I might have done one or two and of course I've never won one.


5. If I looked into your refrigerator right now, what would I find?

Soda, pizza, lasagna cupcakes, sandwich fixings, yogurt, milk, egg whites, carrots. That's off memory, I'm nearly 36wks right now and laid out on the couch -- getting up to go and check is beyond my current capability/desire, haha.

08 July 2011

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In (#48)

If you're looking for more information on the Fill-in go to Wife of a Sailor's blog.

1. Does you significant other read your blog? Is this a good or a bad thing?
DH has no idea what a blog is, I just checked. ("What the heck is a blog?")

2. What is one item in your house that holds the most sentimental value and why? Probably my photo storage box with the letters and whatnot from our last deployment and/or my music box. I keep those odds and ends around not because they're particularly valuable but because they remind me of the person I fell in love with when times get rough. I've got other family heirloom-y things in the house: a 1791 - Klötz violin, a 1921 - player piano, my grandmother's sterling silver tea/coffee service, his grandfather's service flag from his burial. I think the box is what I'd miss most if it were destroyed though.

3. When it comes to water fun in the summer do you prefer the beach, pool, lake or sprinkler? I'm not a fan of public pools, house pools are too much upkeep. Sprinklers don't wet you enough. Most lakes have too much "crap" in them (particulates, living things, etc) but you could make the same argument for beaches. However, if you've had the particular luck of vacationing in the Caribbean you know that some of the most beautiful beaches are found here, particularly around the Grand Caymans. I would take those pristine white beaches and crystal clear waters over any pool, lake or sprinkler any day of the week.

4. What is the one special thing that you do for yourself to get you through the first week of a deployment/separation? Have yourself a good cry, snuggle the dog(s), watch some trashy romance flick and then get back to work. Having a job is the best way to get through your first week, knowing you're responsible for doing something important puts your priorities back in line.

5. What is your biggest guilty pleasure website? http://www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ hands down, or maybe Dear Abby/Dear Margo (on R/F).

01 July 2011

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In (apparently #47 -- I'm just getting started)

Check out Wife of a Sailor's blog for more info on the fill-in.


1. Have you (spouse) ever considered joining the military and what do you think of dual military couples?

Back in the day when I thought I might go to med or vet school, yes, I considered joining the military. I've obviously gone a different route since then. Note: this was before I met DH! Since meeting and marrying my military man I can say with 100% certainty that joining the military is not something I would consider now. Physically I could train for and kick basic training in the butt, mentally I could probably handle it too (not as if women are allowed into combat positions and most of my civilian training would mean that my likelihood of deployment would be low)...it's just not feasible for my family. I know it can and does work for others though! (including my aunt and uncle who were a dual military couple for something like 95% of both of their military careers; they're both retired now though.)

2. What is your idea of a perfect Sunday afternoon?

Relaxing, crafting, baking...sleeping. Actually sleeping is my new favorite hobby, too bad my son doesn't ever want to let me sleep. Right now he's practicing his tae bo skills on my liver/stomach.


3. What do you usually do for the 4th of July holiday?

I don't really have a usual. Usually try and hang out with some friends outdoors grilling/BBQ'ing. I typically manage to bring an awesome dessert along, like last years 100% from scratch red/white/blue vanilla cake with strawberry filling and homemade frostings (both buttercream and fondant):
I have no idea yet what this year's festive dessert will be (but I'm thinking it'll probably be a vanilla flag cake with flavored/fruited gelatin. Sounds easy enough in my head, and these days I like easy.



4. If they could make an Olympic event JUST for you that you know you’d medal in, what would it be?

Details! I'm super awesome at details about just about anything I've been exposed to once/twice before. I'm a nitpicker for details when something is important to me.

5. What have you been doing to get yourself bathing suit ready for the summer?

Well considering I'm gestating at the moment? Absolutely. Nothing.
Bradley has completely destroyed my figure and my once coveted, pristine, nice skin? Obliterated. My entire body looks like a road map. I've got stretch marks peeking out of my bra, the arms of my t-shirts, and the bottoms of my shorts (and I am by no means a hoochie-mama, my shorts are usually pretty long to begin with). There are stretch marks crawling from where the dimples over the backs of my hips used to be wrapping around my sides and wrecking havoc over my entire stomach/groin area. My days of aiming for a sleek, sexy, bikini/two-piece are officially over (I even hate my preggo swimsuit because it can't hide the massive amounts of scarring from the legs down).



One day they will fade (hopefully!) and of course next summer's goal will be to be in a size/shape that I love again -- but I've officially hit mom-dom and have resigned myself to always searching for a sleek, sexy, ONE-piece. Hopefully that's possible without having to show off too many of my Bradley induced battle-scars. I've never been a tanning/sun lover, but I hear that helps hide stretch marks so I might have to find a way to start (or at least look like I tan).

Happy Friday!

13 March 2011

March 12 - The main character of your favorite Bible story

My favorite Bible story has always been Joseph (son of Jacob) and the coat of many colors. I was always in awe that he was able to come back from such personal defeat and conquest from his brothers and their hatred to rise into a such a powerful person. It was always amazing to me that Joseph could take the stance that what had happened had been God's will to save the lives of many.

Of course it doesn't hurt that there was an awesome musical made regarding this story that just happens to be pretty neato.

March 11 - Any adult whose faith you admire

Do I count as an adult? heh!

I'd say my dad. From what I hear he wasn't big on church growing up and in young adulthood (and knowing his mom, I can understand why) but over the years his faith has changed so much and always for the better. He has always been a godly person, but I'm really excited to see the changes he's gone through knowing that my husband and I have had similar concerns/belief patterns. Seeing my dad's faith is like a little window into the future and how I hope to one day grow.

March 10 - Five reasons you think your church family is awesome

I don't really have a church family in KY so I guess I'll do it on my church family "back home" in TX

1.) Everyone knows each other. This is a pretty big feat for a larger church.
2.) We do these really silly old-school productions every year at Easter and Christmas. It used to be a drag being forced to participate as a child, but it's pretty neat to look back on and experience each year.
3.) I love that my church family is committed to maintaining historical property (i.e. the church itself). Sure they go through renovations every once in a while and new styled buildings get put up, but at no point has anyone suggested to just move the sanctuary to a new site/building and I think that's pretty special in this day and age.
4.) I really dig that in all of this updating and even building and making sets for the yearly productions that the vast majority of it gets done by members of the church themselves.
5.) I like that when I visit "home" people know me by name and ask how I'm doing. Sometimes in larger congregations that gets tough to do, but the individualized attention each person gets is spectacular.

I really hope we can find something like this in our new home in WA!

March 9 - Ash Wednesday - do one random act of kindness

My random act of kindness for Wednesday was giving my kiddos an extra day to do their Scientific Review paper. Rather than it being due on Mar 15, it's now due Mar 16th.

May not seem like the best act of kindness, but I did rather decide this on the fly out of the goodness of my heart so I think it should count.

05 March 2011

I have been tagged!...


Upon receiving this award, I must tell you five things about me!

1. I will state the not so obvious, since I haven't talked about it much on here nor are any of my posts directly related to this: I am pregnant.

2. I love learning and can't wait to finish my masters degree so that I can start planning for my PhD. (I should graduate with my masters in about a year, yay!)

3. So many massive changes are fixing to happen for me: baby, moving 2500 miles, becoming home owners, facing deployment #3, hopefully new job. Sometimes it is overwhelming.

4. I miss having a church family. Kentucky has left me feeling very isolated.

5. It doesn't help that I am virtually friendless in various aspects of my life (everywhere except back home).




Which explains why I only have two people to tag this to. I won't tag someone on this who isn't actively following me and of my list of 7 people, only 2 people with blogs have yet to be tagged:


La Vita Bella

and


flying high with my flyboy

Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail

Taking out as many student loans as I have/did.

Surely there must have been a better way to go about it. I didn't qualify for any scholarships, work studies or grants -- but maybe I didn't try hard enough to find ones I *did* qualify for. My monthly student loan payments are on par with a 160K mortgage and I won't even own a home at the end of them. I do wonder whether I would have finished my degree when I did, if at all if I had had to go half-time and worked harder to earn money to pay for college. I only finished my degree because I was able to live with family rent-free after transferring to another school. If I had just done that in the first place would I be in the financial hard spot I'm in now? Probably not. No one really cares where you get your bachelors degree anyhow, only that you have one.

I'm faced now with the choice between paying my own debts and being able to set aside money not only for retirement but for my childrens' education. It sucks.

Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail

Hard one...probably when I turned 16. Not because I got a car (heh, Hank the Tank!), no it was because my dad had scored me and my then boyfriend some pretty choice seats to go see a production of Phantom of the Opera. It was the first time that I felt like I was doing something entirely "adult." We had on theater attire and got all dolled up complete with a nice dinner. When the chandelier fell you could feel the air whoosh over your head. I'd seen dozens of productions on this particular stage and none of them quite transformed me to a different locale than this particular production. It was a magical birthday in every sense of the word.

Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail

By far, my favorite memory as of right now is oddly enough, not the day we got married. Though it was an awesome day and everyone was fairly impressed at how cool and collected I was! This was a particularly good moment:



However, I think when he got home (for good) from the last deployment was the best so far. Sure, the fallout from the deployment was just hovering in the distance ready to give us a run for our money. But the moment that I found him on that gym floor, knowing that for the next couple of years I wouldn't have to worry about him deploying again and maybe not coming home in one piece -- it was like I had won the lottery!










In related news, we had a faculty meeting before school yesterday. It was hard on me. They had a woman there from SOS talking to the teachers because the BRAC realignment has meant an influx of combat soldiers to our installation with the high school I teach at with the largest percentage of Army-kids off post. She played a video/recording of a mother who lost her husband to an IED attack in Iraq and how it affected their two children. My heart was racing and I almost had to step out -- but I gained my composure back without too many people noticing I wasn't handling the interview well. When we PCS hubs will be joining an infantry division that (rumor has it) will be deploying to Afghan by December. God willing, we'll have a healthy 4-month old by then and I'll become a single mom of sorts. 

I used to have nightmares about the possibility of being told he would be coming home in a coffin the last time he deployed -- and we weren't even married! I knew I was his contact and every time a black, official-looking sedan came down the street I prayed it wouldn't pull into my driveway. I dreaded intercom requests for me to come down to the front office where I taught because I was afraid I'd come face to face with a CAO and a chaplain. In a word, just the possibility of him deploying (which seems very likely) leaving me behind in a new place with a new baby and a new job is terrifying. He's been infantry and deployed before and was lucky to walk away with his life. That this time he might not come back, rips my heart in half. Hell, even just getting a casualty notification is enough to put your heart on edge. Pregnancy hormones aren't helping either.

When the SOS started her presentation she asked for a show of hands of who was affiliated with the military. Maybe 10 of us raised our hands? Of those that did, most were retired or married to retired soldiers. I think maybe me and one other person are married to someone still active duty (and I think her husband is actually HR related, not combat arms). It made me feel desperately alone. I've experienced first hand what the kids of deployed soldiers have gone through and that makes me an oddity at my current school. But what made me really sick, was looking up after re-gaining my composure and seeing quite a few of my fellow co-workers tuning this woman's heartbreaking interview out and even chuckling with each other about god-knows-what, but it can't have been important. Here this school is, in the middle of a major transition, where not a few students but many are experiencing very real fear and pain over their parents' deployment. And their teachers, who are supposed to care about their well being can't give a women who's trying to help (the SOS) the time of day. If I hadn't been on the edge of losing my composure to begin with I would have walked over and had a few choice words with those who were being disrespectful.

I may end up by myself, in a new place, with a new job (hopefully) and a new baby...but at least I have confidence that where we're going next will provide me with greater support when I have to say goodbye to my husband again. God, preserve me and my family so that we can have another "favorite memory" like I described above.

01 March 2011

An aside from the "30 Great Details"

Sooooooo

Next week is Lent. I've grown up a Lutheran and really enjoy my faith. Most people who aren't Lutheran tend not to realize that Lutherans observe Lent as well as Catholics (which usually everyone associates with observing Lent). Anyhoo, I usually tend to give up something meaningful for Lent or at the very least add on one good behavior. Lent itself lasts 40 days so just about the right amount of time to form a great new habit. The "suffering" gets you in a more somber frame of mind to truly appreciate the celebration of Easter and you improve yourself for the better to boot.

There was the year I got really deep and gave up all potato products. (Don't laugh, as a German-American it's literally in my blood to have potatoes at every meal. Which I was doing, and having potato based snacks on the side.) That was also the year that I decided and announced to my church group what I was giving up before realizing that I'd be in Germany over Spring Break, ie. during the middle of Lent. That particular trip was an interesting one, but I am proud to say that I did not eat a single potato product in those 40 days despite the numerous opportunities that presented themselves. I also lost something like 10 lbs. Win-win. That was a tough year.

There have been years where I swore off the internet for 40 days, even opting to do things like research papers "old school" style using actual libraries. Funny enough those semester grades were always a bit higher than others.

I'm not in any great position this year to give up food groups due to the pregnancy. I'm also doing my master's degree online, so the days of giving up the internet are pretty much out. I suppose that I could cut out social networking sites (really, just Facebook is all that I peruse if you don't count things like Blogger or LJ). The difficulty there is that I'm so isolated here in KY. I don't have many/any friends and the social sites are my only link to "back home" where I do have substantial numbers of people who're still trying to keep up with the goings on of my life. To shut them down to access to me and vice versa for 40 days would probably affect my sanity too negatively.

I have found a way to prepare my heart for the resurrection of Jesus though! A pastor I had in college and who I still keep up with is doing at 40 Day Challenge with her current congregation and I've decided that I'll be following along and posting in here. I've already made a page (up near the top of this blog) with the 40 days of topics listed out and ready to go. They've got dates next to them so it'll be an exercise in staying current for me to stay on top of all the topics.

To view the topics as a whole, either click the link at the top or click right here.

Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail

I'm on a role now!

Um, first kiss (peck on the lips): I was 5. I know, a little harlot. I was with my family camping at Bastrop State Park in Texas. My very best friend of the time was a boy and with us being both 5, who'd have thought we'd get up to kissing?! I'm pretty sure we'd seen either adults (like my parents) or teenagers elsewhere in the park kissing earlier and wanted to know what the fuss was all about. Sooooo we stood on the other side of the tent from my parents (who were fixing lunch) and puckered up. General consensus was that kissing wasn't worth all the hype. It also was probably the shortest peck-y kiss in all of history.

First real kiss: 7th grade. (Am I still a harlot?) I had "boyfriend" which meant mostly that we hung out a lot at school, after school, and held hands. The first kiss we had itself wasn't particularly memorable aside from the fact that it was probably a bit too wet for my tastes. To this day I can't stand overly wet kisses. Please don't eat my face.

Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail

Wow...big topic and one that I'm barely gonna scratch at.

  • own a home (soon to happen, *fingers crossed*)
  • have children (also soon to happen, pray for an easy delivery!)
  • raise those children successfully
  • continue my education (finishing up my masters, hope to go for a PhD in biochemistry in the next 5-7 yrs)
  • have an enjoyable career educating young minds (do it already at the high school level, hoping that once I have my masters I can maybe take up an adjunct position and whatever local community college is nearby)
  • learn how to make furniture (crazy dream of mine that will probably never happen, oh well)
  • have a successful marriage (we're still in the early stages, finishing up year 2 married)
  • have a more Christian/loving mindset/heart
  • find an awesome church home that I can stick with
All of the above could be wrapped up in a phrase or two. To be all "Miss America," I really just want to find a way to personally make the world a better place.

Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail

Sorry it's been a few days hasn't it?!

So what I wore today was fairly boring. I've transitioned into maternity pants because nothing fits anymore...sooooo I wore black trouser styled mat pants, a black tank top with an extra long torso, and this blue sweater sort of thing that buttons at the neck and nowhere else. I tried to keep it comfy in the feet since I was on them all day in the computer lab with my kiddos and wore my Crocs (they're not the nasty clog style though with the weird strap that goes behind your heel).

So yeah, boring. At least I was mostly comfortable!

13 February 2011

Day 13 – This week, in great detail

Two-for-one today!

This week in great detail. Kind of sucked but here goes:

Monday: My Advanced Integrated Science kids started a Mineral Hardness Lab. They weren't too thrilled about it and I had to write one or two of them up for refusing to do the lab. I'm not a fan of writing kids up for preventable behaviors, but I don't take insubordination well so that's that. My Chemistry kids bombed their Chap 7 exam the Friday before so they got to do mandated studying by writing lines for all of the naming and mathematical processes in the unit. They weren't thrilled, but at least they were focused and quiet for once. Unexpected early release meant that I didn't see my other Adv. Int. Science class -- this meant they had to skip the Mineral Hardness Lab.

Tuesday: Snow day! Though these days bore me out of my skull being at home, the general attitude of my students is the worst I've ever seen so I enjoy my time away from them. I was feeling pretty under the weather anyway so this was a day spent catching up on sleeping.

Wednesday: Back to work. Adv. Integrated Science kids finished up our lecture notes over Minerals and Rocks in both class periods. Chemistry students had their re-test over Chap 7. I would say a good 10% of Chem kids refused to do the re-test (sat there with their re-test, albeit quietly, until the bell rang and then turned in a blank paper). I had about 3 kids overall that refused to be quiet about the fact that they were refusing to take the re-test. I wrote all of them up. Sucked.

Thursday: Snow day! See above. I also did a fair amount of planning for my sub that I'm having tomorrow (the 14th) due to professional development.

Friday: My first group of Adv. Int. Science kids were given the chance to finish their Mineral Lab and any other missing work they had out. Chem kids started a new unit on Chemical Reactions and how they're represented on paper. Second group of Adv. Int. Science kids I didn't see because we had a pep rally the last period of the day. Apparently it is "homecoming" for the basketball season. (Sidenote: I have never been anywhere that celebrated this second homecoming for basketball. Football or go home, baby! haha) I actually didn't feel good all day, queasy, warm, dizzy -- just general ickiness. I about passed out at the pep rally though. Too many bodies and too much noise going on at one time. Several people noticed I looked flushed and I had to step outside the gym a few times. I came home that afternoon and noticed a strange rash on the backs of my hands and insides of my wrists. It's itchy and miserable.

Saturday: Yay for sleeping in! Got caught up on all of my TV shows, finalized lesson plans for Monday. Played around on the internet a bit. Pre-planned for my final paper in my current graduate school course. The rash seemed to subside a bit, but now my hands/wrist are scaly and itchy. I'm really hoping it's not PUPPS because that would just be so unattractive. Went out to eat with hubs and one of the guys he works with.

Sunday: today hubs hasn't yet gotten out of bed. I need to go pick up my copies for tomorrow's sub. I plan to get a HUGE chunk of my paper written and make sure I've replied to any discussions I need to for my class. We need to talk more about our upcoming move to WA and settle on when we're going to apply for pre-approval on the VA loan and narrow down our choices for houses to look at when I go the first week of April. Need to clean the house a bit and finally pack the Christmas stuff away, away (it's down but not in it's proper boxes).

Day 12 - What's in your bag, in great detail

So I've really sucked it up at this 30 Great Details thing. I hate leaving unfinished business, so to speak, so I'm going to try and blow through the last 19 days and hopefully that will get me back on track with blogging.

First off, I don't really have a bag in the purse sense. If we're talking about purses I don't have one and normally only carry my black Coach wallet. I do have a work bag though, so I suppose I will talk about that instead.

So first off this is my bag:

I am totally in love with this bag. It is completely awesome and I bought it on sale about a year ago at Target for like $18. It was advertised as a work tote and has a special padded zippered pouch for your laptop with a leash-style clip to secure it to the inside of the bag. It also came with a matching half-lanyard key ring to secure your keys with a leash-style clip to one place inside the bag, a matching cell-phone pocket with loop to attach to the inside and of course another inner pocket with pen-holders on the outside. I LOVE knowing exactly where everything is inside this bag. I don't have to dig for keys or my phone or anything else! Truth be told my phone usually stays in the smaller of the outside pockets (the buckles are just for looks, the pockets actually close with magnetic snaps) -- it's just easier to get to and the cell phone pocket wasn't exactly designed for smart phones so it's a touch too small for easy use.

Since it is currently the weekend the small outside pocket is empty, during the week it holds my cell phone, my mascara and maybe a small scrap of paper or two. The larger outside pocket holds a small coin purse/card holder thing, my iPod charger, a set of headphones and my pill case for the pre-natals (otherwise I'll forget to take them!). Inside the bag I usually have my 13" MacBook in the padded case, with the charger floating loose in the bag. A grading wheel and my planner float loose inside, as well as whatever miscellaneous assignments I have yet to grade for my classes (nothing really in there right now as grades were due on Friday for progress reports). My pen pockets hold whatever random writing utensils I have, usually a pencil or two, a couple of pens and a highlighter or two. Currently it's one purple and one red felt tip pen and a permanent marker. There's a zippered component to the pen pocket and inside there is my iPod and a few random scraps of paper. The empty cell phone case is somewhere at the bottom. My key lanyard is clipped into place on the inside but hangs outside the bag with carabiners attaching my house keys and work keys (on separate rings) to the ring on the lanyard. (I really like this system with the carabiners because it also allows me to clip the keys I'm using at the time to my pants pocket or belt loop. I don't ever lose my keys because of this!)

I honestly LOVE this bag so much. It is the pinnacle of sturdiness as it's been well over a year and showing no signs of tears or even much wearing. All of the zippers are functioning tip top, the leash-style clips though small are strong and never catch or have to be forced open. The walls of the bag are still pretty stiff so my papers and books etc never get curled. I even love the color and the fact that it is faux-croc because that gives it enough style without being too boring or too gaudy. I might actually shed a tear or two when (if! *fingers crossed*) this bag dies.

21 November 2010

Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail

Well so I suck at this blogging thing and the whole 30 days meme...


Time to get back on track! I only have one sibling and that would be my little brother Andy. The two of us are 21 months apart, almost to the day. It made growing up both fun and at times not so fun. Andy's always been a bit of a lazy bones when it comes to academics and I am a bit of a perfectionist. Being that we grew up in a relatively small town and had most of the same teachers just at different times, I think that a lot of academic expectations were put on him to sort of be like me. Everyone knew he was smart, but he wasn't challenged so that kind of led to him blowing off his classwork, etc. At the same time, we're both very musical people, but he is so much more musical than me. The boy learned piano and was composing his own music in middle school. Needless to say once were in high school together everyone pretty much expected us to have the same musical talents and I came up short.

We've had a lot of ups and downs. We're two extremely different people and I think sometimes that leads my mom in particular to worry that we won't get along once our parents are gone. But Andy has grown a lot in the last couple of years and he's finally beginning to wisen up on how to be a grown up. He's got a little ways to go yet, but apparently both my dad and his little brother were a bit of "late bloomers" and they turned out just fine, so I'm not too worried about him yet.

I will say that Andy has always been there for me when I needed him, and while he doesn't always show it in the way you might expect I know he loves me and would do whatever he could to make sure I was happy. It's not as constant as our mom might like but we do talk about life and how each other is doing on our own (without prodding) and I know he looks out for my well-being. Same goes for me, he knows that I won't just let him sink if he needs my help and that I love him.


15 October 2010

Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail

This will be a piece of cake! Because I'm still feeling a bit under the weather, I wore the following:
  • a t-shirt (Red Standing for America t-shirt from the hopefully now infamous Red, White and Blue Out Aggie game 9-22-2001 in honor of the fallen on Sept. 11th)

  • underwear (white)
  • a housecoat (pink)
  • flipflops (black) to go outside when necessary
I have showered and re-dressed to include:
  • a t-shirt (heather grey P-ville Cross Country t-shirt from my running days back in HS; our slogan that year "Pain is temporary, Pride is forever!" heh)
  • underwear (blue)
  • bra (black)
  • shorts (dark grey)
  • flipflops (black) to go outside when necessary
I am supremely boring!

10 October 2010

Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail

This is going to be one hell of a post…I’m going to cover everything I possibly can:
  • Homosexuality
  • Abortion
  • Politics
  • Origins of the World/Man (Evolution)
  • Religion
    • Jesus
Homosexuality
     Too much scientific evidence points to the understanding that being gay is not a lifestyle and/or choice. I’m in a privileged position because I have access to the scientific documentation that has been published about it. The average joe wanting more information might know to search through places like Scirus and Google Scholar, but without paying $30+ for each article they want to read, all they have access to are abstracts. Even those that might have access to scientific journals because they’re college/grad students might not have the scientific background to understand completely the language being used in said articles. I not only have the access but the proper scientific background. All studies done thus far indicate that chemical receptors in the brain of GLBTQ individuals behave differently than they would for their heterosexual counterparts. Because the difference in brain action is CLEAR, it’s obvious that this is not a choice being made to BE GLBTQ. It is their choice to embrace their physiology, but that’s it. 

     That being said a lot of people (mainly “Bible-thumpers”) like to go on and on about homosexuality is against God’s nature, it’s a sin, etc. I can’t stomach this at all. If God has created these individuals who have been “wired” differently, they cannot be against His nature – He created them. Additionally, I know just as many homosexual couples that have been monogamous and equally committed as many heterosexual couples. In fact, the homosexual relationships I’ve been privileged to witness are mostly more genuine than a lot of the heterosexual relationships I’ve witnessed. They experience love as deeply as anyone else; Love like that is surely to have been blessed by God. Again, if God made them that way and allowed them healthy loving relationships HOW can it be against His nature?



Abortion
     In general, frivolous abortions should not be allowed. Johnny shouldn’t be able to knock up Suzie, break up with her the next week and then Suzie go and rid herself of her burden. Sex, whether you’re ready for it or not is a HUGE thing. While getting pregnant is not always an easy thing, every sexual encounter should be treated as if it will end up with a child. E.g. – Don’t have sex if you couldn’t handle being a parent. 

     That said, if a pregnancy threatens a woman or her unborn child’s potential life it has to be up to her to decide what to do. If a woman is raped she shouldn’t have to be forced to face the ordeal head on for 9 month and go through hours of labor to produce a child she does not want to have (regardless of whether she would be altruistic enough to give it up for adoption).

With this topic come a lot of cries about how it’s murder. Honestly, that depends on when you think “life” occurs. Personally I don’t see how life can possibly exist without implantation. Even many implantations end in what is medically referred to as a chemical abortion. (For this reason I am not against things like the Plan B pill.) 

     In my opinion, until you can hear a heartbeat the bundle of cells can’t possibly be viable and if need be I would have no problems with a woman wanting to terminate for a non-frivolous reason. No matter what you should be able to hear a heartbeat no later than 12 weeks gestation, PLENTY of time to figure out you’re pregnant and make a tough decision if need be. (This would include being ok with RU-486 – not the same thing as Plan B.)

     Once you being the 2nd trimester though, you’ve made your decision (even by indecision!). Suck it up and deal with it if you’re not happy about your situation. And if it turns out that you don’t really want the kid after all, give it up for adoption because there are SO many families out there that would love a baby but for whatever reason were not blessed enough to have their own biological children.



Politics
     Swear this one will be short! In short, don’t be an uneducated twit. Research your candidate IN DEPTH and don’t make a snap decision on whom to vote for. There’s nothing inherently wrong with voting along strict party lines – so long as the party you choose continuously meets the needs you need meeting.
     I hate it when people vote gender or race.
     I hate it when people tie themselves so closely to a political party that they no longer understand what their party stands for.
     Just take care with your political position, educate yourself thoroughly and often and don’t be afraid of making a change if your beliefs no longer align with the guy/gal you thought you were going to vote for.
     And because that all sounds a bit “liberal” per se, I am thoroughly unhappy with not only the Obama administration but the state of politics in America. It’s turned into a good ol’ popularity contest and whoever has the most money, which is NOT what it was originally intended for.



Origins of Man – Evolution
     I actually had a very interesting discussion about this yesterday with a close friend of mine from college over FB. I’ll mostly copy & paste what I wrote there:

     Evolution is the progressive change of genetics within a species. Often the changes are so small that we do not observe them. Such is the case with large organisms, like humans, whose time between generations is very long (remember humans have a life expectancy ~75 yrs or so). We can see the progressive change of genetics in species that have much smaller generations, like bacteria or weeds. (Bacterial generations can be completed in as little as 30 minutes depending on the species, but most bacterial species will have a new generation within 24 hrs. Weeds/plants are a little longer, in the "weeks" category, but still short enough for human observation.)

     HOW a bacterium or weed becomes resistant, or a species becoming resistant in general, is determined by their genetics. Let me pose a scenario for you. Weeds are easier since they don't have any abnormal mating habits so that's where I'll go.

     Imagine you are a small farmer and in your one crop field there are 100,000 individuals/plants of something, like pigweed. You want to do your part for the environment, but you still want an effective herbicide so you go with Roundup®.

     After the first application of Roundup, maybe 90% of all the pigweed is gone. This still leaves about 10,000 individuals who were exposed to the herbicide but had slight genetic differences that allowed them to survive. In order for those genetic adaptations to be passed on they must show up in the sex cells of the individual. Assuming even that only half of the 10,000 have genetic advantage that can be passed on, that's still 5,000 individuals who survived with the advantage that can be passed on. A very VERY conservative estimate for plant species is a doubling of viable population. This original generation of plants that survived to reproduce is called the "parent" generation in genetics.

     Alright, so assuming they double the 5,000 in the parent generation would beget 10,000 individuals in the first generation of offspring. But let's not forget, that the advantage that allowed them to survive can be passed on genetically. So ALL of the new 10,000 are also able to survive Roundup.

1st begets 2nd (10,000 becomes 20,000)
2nd begets 3rd (20,000 becomes 40,000)
3rd begets 4th (40,000 becomes 80,000)
4th begets 5th (80,000 becomes 160,000)

     Before you know it, not only are there MORE weeds than the farmer started off with, but ALL of them are resistant to his preferred herbicide. Also to be taken into consideration, most weeds are angiosperms meaning they flower and their seeds are mobile. Be they blown on the wind or carried by an animal, the seeds move. Nearby "foreign" populations of pigweed get transported into the farmer's field. Of the transplants some of them too will become resistant to the herbicide, exacerbating the problem. So too, do the resistant pigweeds transplant into the "foreign" populations taking their genetic advantage with them.

     A conservative estimate is that it may take 5 generations for the farmer's field to be overrun and not helped by Roundup any longer, but the reality is that it will probably be closer to 3 generations. That's about 1 year, maybe two depending on growing conditions.

     Now imagine a similar scenario with bacteria that even take as long as 24 hrs to produce a new generation and you'll see that genetic resistance to anti-life agents (e.g. antibiotics for bacteria and herbicides for weeds) very quickly become obsolete.

     Progressive change in genetics is most commonly accepted when we're speaking about breeds of livestock, companion animals or even crop varieties. The chickens and lambs and cows you eat today are not the same genetically speaking as those of the 1920s or earlier. Chickens back then were the size of grackles/black birds but today they're monstrous in comparison and it's not from injecting them with hormones. Even hormone free chickens are much much larger than their early 20th century counterparts. The corn you eat and the wheat that makes your bread is genetically different than those grown as late as the 1940s and 50s because of Norman Borlaug's Green Revolution. Dog breeds exist now that didn't exist 100-200 years ago. My Plott Hound is a great example of that.

     All of these "micro" changes add up over long periods of time. The problem is that humans don't have a long enough lifespan to view when the micro changes add up to equal the macro changes, ie when a species splits because of the vast differences existing between two populations. For most organisms it's thought that that process cannot be completed without the passage of several thousands years.

     Some people can accept the microevolution I just presented but have trouble extrapolating that outwards towards larger organisms – like humans; that's the one that's harder to prove, obviously. (And there’s a huge misconception that humans evolved from “monkeys,” I’ll get to that in a bit.)
For one thing our generation length is so long compared to other species that no one (even had they been aware of what to look for) could have been documenting it. What's left of "evidence..." then is the fossil record. Which in itself is a pretty sucky record. Imagine, it takes some pretty precise conditions for fossils to develop from a deceased body of any species. So in all, what we have from the fossil record is largely just bits and pieces that scientists have had to sort of craft together into something that makes logical sense.

     Is it possible that humans did not diverge genetically from apes? (let's be clear there is a huge difference between a monkey and an ape but both are primates. In fact there are three categories of primates; monkeys, apes and prosimians -- things like lemurs, etc.)

     While it is *possible* humans didn't "descend" from apes given the lack of quality evidence/information that we have, there is absolutely nothing substantive to suggest that we did NOT descend from apes. The genetic code is too similar, morphology is too similar, even social behaviors on many levels mirror those found in ape societies (think gorillas and chimpanzees). It may be disappointing to hear or think on even, but what evidence that we do have, inconclusive though it may be, does point clearly in one direction and one direction only.

     It is not possible to know for sure, whether we did or didn't evolve from apes. Even that aside, evolution does not have to fall outside the boundaries of the Bible. Genesis 1 clearly states that man was created last in order to care for the world around him. Any phylogenetic tree or rendition of the fossil record will show you that evolutionarily speaking, humans arrived "on the scene" last. But because Genesis gives no concrete definition of time, who is to say how many years = a day in Genesis 1? Is it then not also possible, that evolution could be God's method of sculpting out the world and all that fills it?

     I actually rather enjoy the vision of God as a sculptor. As any artist will tell you, a work of art takes time and many forms before its completion. So too it is possible that God's "chisel" is evolution. It would make sense then that His work of art would take time and take on many forms. Or even never stop changing, if we are to assume that God is still present and involved and not some being that set things in motion and sat back to see what happened (as some people believe).
     To quote Albert Einstein: "Science without Religion is lame, Religion without Science is blind." - 1941, Science, Phylosophy and Religion: A Symposium.
     The two do not *have* to be mutually exclusive of one another. 
     Some people take offense to the idea that a day in Genesis 1 might not equal 24 hrs and those like to spout verses like "By him, were all things created," (Colossians 1:16) and Romans 1:25 – “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.”

     To those folks I have the following: Geologic time, by that definition is then incompatible with the Bible. If a day = a day, then in 168 hrs the world was created. Science would not have ANY merit, because EVERYTHING we know and understand about this world from a scientific standpoint, negates any possibility that the world was created in 168 hrs. There would not be any need to try and view Science and Religion as anything BUT mutually exclusive -- Science would be a complete lie. 

     This is plainly not the case. Thousands of years of scientific investigation has proved otherwise and if you still come down on the side who's opinion it is that the world was completed in 168 hrs then you should never see another doctor ever again; never take another drug; never undergo another surgery. ANY modern day convenience would not exist without scientific innovation and you should take that into consideration any time you use so much as a telephone or flush a toilet.

     If God is the instigator, the propagator of evolution, then Colossians 1:16 has not been altered and Romans 1:25 no longer applies to this situation. And just as an aside, Darwin, though he was given the credit for the 'discovery' was not the only or even the first to put evolution into words. He was just the first to publish on the topic. In fact, he had refrained from publishing on it for many many years because as a Christian he knew the sort of backlash it was going to receive. 

     Why then did he publish it anyway? Because he, like all other human beings, was a prideful sinner and wanted the credit to be all his when a young man in his field naïvely sent him a copy of a manuscript outlining Darwin's own thoughts and wanted Darwin's "expert" opinion as to the validity of his conclusions. The young man's name: Alfred Russell Wallace.


Which finally brings me to….


Religion/Jesus Christ
     You may have picked up on it in the evolution section, bit if you didn’t: I am a Christian. I’m a bit of an unconventional Christian though.

     Some background, I lost my faith in high school. But I regained my faith in college…through science. The more I learned about biology the more I knew that this whole world must be orchestrated by some higher being. While in college I read a fantastic book by Yann Martel called The Life of Pi. My pastor actually had this book on our reading list. It is a must read for anyone. In it the main character Pi, questions why you cannot belong to more than one religion. The most poignant line I read in that book:

"If there's only one nation in the sky, shouldn't all passports be valid for it?" [A question asked by Pi when the truth is out that he has been practicing Hinduism, Christianity and Muslimism.]

     Later I came across another book that I believe all people should be encouraged to read: A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. You can’t see the statistics, the vast complexity of life and NOT believe in something greater than yourself. Lastly I challenge anyone to study the array of religions humans have devised and tell me that at their core the majority of them are not basically carrying the same message.

     For practical purposes, I am a practicing Lutheran – ELCA. I find comfort in the liturgy of the Lutheran church. The services are doctrinal, didactic and musically rich.

     As to Jesus, I know he existed and I believe that what he was capable of doing and what he DID do was true. Science is even beginning to shore all of these suppositions up. However, many use John 3:16 – 21 as evidence that those who do not believe in Jesus will not join God in eternal life. In general, I hate to pick and choose aspects of the Bible in which to place credence or otherwise. But as you may have picked up already, I do not believe the Bible to be the actual Word of God. It is a human made instrument, that probably does not miss the mark as to it’s meaning (ie. the Word of God is intact in meaning, if interpreted in more than one way). 

     To lean on the character, Pi’s, passport analogy: When you go to a foreign country you do not have to book passage in exactly the same way as all others traveling to that country. You can arrive by boat, maybe train or car, you can fly! Those of go by plane, train or boat have multiple carriers through which to book passage. In the same way, I believe that belief in Jesus is one way to book passage into the eternal life. But I cannot hold with the idea that he is the only passage.