21 November 2010

Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail

Well so I suck at this blogging thing and the whole 30 days meme...


Time to get back on track! I only have one sibling and that would be my little brother Andy. The two of us are 21 months apart, almost to the day. It made growing up both fun and at times not so fun. Andy's always been a bit of a lazy bones when it comes to academics and I am a bit of a perfectionist. Being that we grew up in a relatively small town and had most of the same teachers just at different times, I think that a lot of academic expectations were put on him to sort of be like me. Everyone knew he was smart, but he wasn't challenged so that kind of led to him blowing off his classwork, etc. At the same time, we're both very musical people, but he is so much more musical than me. The boy learned piano and was composing his own music in middle school. Needless to say once were in high school together everyone pretty much expected us to have the same musical talents and I came up short.

We've had a lot of ups and downs. We're two extremely different people and I think sometimes that leads my mom in particular to worry that we won't get along once our parents are gone. But Andy has grown a lot in the last couple of years and he's finally beginning to wisen up on how to be a grown up. He's got a little ways to go yet, but apparently both my dad and his little brother were a bit of "late bloomers" and they turned out just fine, so I'm not too worried about him yet.

I will say that Andy has always been there for me when I needed him, and while he doesn't always show it in the way you might expect I know he loves me and would do whatever he could to make sure I was happy. It's not as constant as our mom might like but we do talk about life and how each other is doing on our own (without prodding) and I know he looks out for my well-being. Same goes for me, he knows that I won't just let him sink if he needs my help and that I love him.


15 October 2010

Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail

This will be a piece of cake! Because I'm still feeling a bit under the weather, I wore the following:
  • a t-shirt (Red Standing for America t-shirt from the hopefully now infamous Red, White and Blue Out Aggie game 9-22-2001 in honor of the fallen on Sept. 11th)

  • underwear (white)
  • a housecoat (pink)
  • flipflops (black) to go outside when necessary
I have showered and re-dressed to include:
  • a t-shirt (heather grey P-ville Cross Country t-shirt from my running days back in HS; our slogan that year "Pain is temporary, Pride is forever!" heh)
  • underwear (blue)
  • bra (black)
  • shorts (dark grey)
  • flipflops (black) to go outside when necessary
I am supremely boring!

10 October 2010

Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail

This is going to be one hell of a post…I’m going to cover everything I possibly can:
  • Homosexuality
  • Abortion
  • Politics
  • Origins of the World/Man (Evolution)
  • Religion
    • Jesus
Homosexuality
     Too much scientific evidence points to the understanding that being gay is not a lifestyle and/or choice. I’m in a privileged position because I have access to the scientific documentation that has been published about it. The average joe wanting more information might know to search through places like Scirus and Google Scholar, but without paying $30+ for each article they want to read, all they have access to are abstracts. Even those that might have access to scientific journals because they’re college/grad students might not have the scientific background to understand completely the language being used in said articles. I not only have the access but the proper scientific background. All studies done thus far indicate that chemical receptors in the brain of GLBTQ individuals behave differently than they would for their heterosexual counterparts. Because the difference in brain action is CLEAR, it’s obvious that this is not a choice being made to BE GLBTQ. It is their choice to embrace their physiology, but that’s it. 

     That being said a lot of people (mainly “Bible-thumpers”) like to go on and on about homosexuality is against God’s nature, it’s a sin, etc. I can’t stomach this at all. If God has created these individuals who have been “wired” differently, they cannot be against His nature – He created them. Additionally, I know just as many homosexual couples that have been monogamous and equally committed as many heterosexual couples. In fact, the homosexual relationships I’ve been privileged to witness are mostly more genuine than a lot of the heterosexual relationships I’ve witnessed. They experience love as deeply as anyone else; Love like that is surely to have been blessed by God. Again, if God made them that way and allowed them healthy loving relationships HOW can it be against His nature?



Abortion
     In general, frivolous abortions should not be allowed. Johnny shouldn’t be able to knock up Suzie, break up with her the next week and then Suzie go and rid herself of her burden. Sex, whether you’re ready for it or not is a HUGE thing. While getting pregnant is not always an easy thing, every sexual encounter should be treated as if it will end up with a child. E.g. – Don’t have sex if you couldn’t handle being a parent. 

     That said, if a pregnancy threatens a woman or her unborn child’s potential life it has to be up to her to decide what to do. If a woman is raped she shouldn’t have to be forced to face the ordeal head on for 9 month and go through hours of labor to produce a child she does not want to have (regardless of whether she would be altruistic enough to give it up for adoption).

With this topic come a lot of cries about how it’s murder. Honestly, that depends on when you think “life” occurs. Personally I don’t see how life can possibly exist without implantation. Even many implantations end in what is medically referred to as a chemical abortion. (For this reason I am not against things like the Plan B pill.) 

     In my opinion, until you can hear a heartbeat the bundle of cells can’t possibly be viable and if need be I would have no problems with a woman wanting to terminate for a non-frivolous reason. No matter what you should be able to hear a heartbeat no later than 12 weeks gestation, PLENTY of time to figure out you’re pregnant and make a tough decision if need be. (This would include being ok with RU-486 – not the same thing as Plan B.)

     Once you being the 2nd trimester though, you’ve made your decision (even by indecision!). Suck it up and deal with it if you’re not happy about your situation. And if it turns out that you don’t really want the kid after all, give it up for adoption because there are SO many families out there that would love a baby but for whatever reason were not blessed enough to have their own biological children.



Politics
     Swear this one will be short! In short, don’t be an uneducated twit. Research your candidate IN DEPTH and don’t make a snap decision on whom to vote for. There’s nothing inherently wrong with voting along strict party lines – so long as the party you choose continuously meets the needs you need meeting.
     I hate it when people vote gender or race.
     I hate it when people tie themselves so closely to a political party that they no longer understand what their party stands for.
     Just take care with your political position, educate yourself thoroughly and often and don’t be afraid of making a change if your beliefs no longer align with the guy/gal you thought you were going to vote for.
     And because that all sounds a bit “liberal” per se, I am thoroughly unhappy with not only the Obama administration but the state of politics in America. It’s turned into a good ol’ popularity contest and whoever has the most money, which is NOT what it was originally intended for.



Origins of Man – Evolution
     I actually had a very interesting discussion about this yesterday with a close friend of mine from college over FB. I’ll mostly copy & paste what I wrote there:

     Evolution is the progressive change of genetics within a species. Often the changes are so small that we do not observe them. Such is the case with large organisms, like humans, whose time between generations is very long (remember humans have a life expectancy ~75 yrs or so). We can see the progressive change of genetics in species that have much smaller generations, like bacteria or weeds. (Bacterial generations can be completed in as little as 30 minutes depending on the species, but most bacterial species will have a new generation within 24 hrs. Weeds/plants are a little longer, in the "weeks" category, but still short enough for human observation.)

     HOW a bacterium or weed becomes resistant, or a species becoming resistant in general, is determined by their genetics. Let me pose a scenario for you. Weeds are easier since they don't have any abnormal mating habits so that's where I'll go.

     Imagine you are a small farmer and in your one crop field there are 100,000 individuals/plants of something, like pigweed. You want to do your part for the environment, but you still want an effective herbicide so you go with Roundup®.

     After the first application of Roundup, maybe 90% of all the pigweed is gone. This still leaves about 10,000 individuals who were exposed to the herbicide but had slight genetic differences that allowed them to survive. In order for those genetic adaptations to be passed on they must show up in the sex cells of the individual. Assuming even that only half of the 10,000 have genetic advantage that can be passed on, that's still 5,000 individuals who survived with the advantage that can be passed on. A very VERY conservative estimate for plant species is a doubling of viable population. This original generation of plants that survived to reproduce is called the "parent" generation in genetics.

     Alright, so assuming they double the 5,000 in the parent generation would beget 10,000 individuals in the first generation of offspring. But let's not forget, that the advantage that allowed them to survive can be passed on genetically. So ALL of the new 10,000 are also able to survive Roundup.

1st begets 2nd (10,000 becomes 20,000)
2nd begets 3rd (20,000 becomes 40,000)
3rd begets 4th (40,000 becomes 80,000)
4th begets 5th (80,000 becomes 160,000)

     Before you know it, not only are there MORE weeds than the farmer started off with, but ALL of them are resistant to his preferred herbicide. Also to be taken into consideration, most weeds are angiosperms meaning they flower and their seeds are mobile. Be they blown on the wind or carried by an animal, the seeds move. Nearby "foreign" populations of pigweed get transported into the farmer's field. Of the transplants some of them too will become resistant to the herbicide, exacerbating the problem. So too, do the resistant pigweeds transplant into the "foreign" populations taking their genetic advantage with them.

     A conservative estimate is that it may take 5 generations for the farmer's field to be overrun and not helped by Roundup any longer, but the reality is that it will probably be closer to 3 generations. That's about 1 year, maybe two depending on growing conditions.

     Now imagine a similar scenario with bacteria that even take as long as 24 hrs to produce a new generation and you'll see that genetic resistance to anti-life agents (e.g. antibiotics for bacteria and herbicides for weeds) very quickly become obsolete.

     Progressive change in genetics is most commonly accepted when we're speaking about breeds of livestock, companion animals or even crop varieties. The chickens and lambs and cows you eat today are not the same genetically speaking as those of the 1920s or earlier. Chickens back then were the size of grackles/black birds but today they're monstrous in comparison and it's not from injecting them with hormones. Even hormone free chickens are much much larger than their early 20th century counterparts. The corn you eat and the wheat that makes your bread is genetically different than those grown as late as the 1940s and 50s because of Norman Borlaug's Green Revolution. Dog breeds exist now that didn't exist 100-200 years ago. My Plott Hound is a great example of that.

     All of these "micro" changes add up over long periods of time. The problem is that humans don't have a long enough lifespan to view when the micro changes add up to equal the macro changes, ie when a species splits because of the vast differences existing between two populations. For most organisms it's thought that that process cannot be completed without the passage of several thousands years.

     Some people can accept the microevolution I just presented but have trouble extrapolating that outwards towards larger organisms – like humans; that's the one that's harder to prove, obviously. (And there’s a huge misconception that humans evolved from “monkeys,” I’ll get to that in a bit.)
For one thing our generation length is so long compared to other species that no one (even had they been aware of what to look for) could have been documenting it. What's left of "evidence..." then is the fossil record. Which in itself is a pretty sucky record. Imagine, it takes some pretty precise conditions for fossils to develop from a deceased body of any species. So in all, what we have from the fossil record is largely just bits and pieces that scientists have had to sort of craft together into something that makes logical sense.

     Is it possible that humans did not diverge genetically from apes? (let's be clear there is a huge difference between a monkey and an ape but both are primates. In fact there are three categories of primates; monkeys, apes and prosimians -- things like lemurs, etc.)

     While it is *possible* humans didn't "descend" from apes given the lack of quality evidence/information that we have, there is absolutely nothing substantive to suggest that we did NOT descend from apes. The genetic code is too similar, morphology is too similar, even social behaviors on many levels mirror those found in ape societies (think gorillas and chimpanzees). It may be disappointing to hear or think on even, but what evidence that we do have, inconclusive though it may be, does point clearly in one direction and one direction only.

     It is not possible to know for sure, whether we did or didn't evolve from apes. Even that aside, evolution does not have to fall outside the boundaries of the Bible. Genesis 1 clearly states that man was created last in order to care for the world around him. Any phylogenetic tree or rendition of the fossil record will show you that evolutionarily speaking, humans arrived "on the scene" last. But because Genesis gives no concrete definition of time, who is to say how many years = a day in Genesis 1? Is it then not also possible, that evolution could be God's method of sculpting out the world and all that fills it?

     I actually rather enjoy the vision of God as a sculptor. As any artist will tell you, a work of art takes time and many forms before its completion. So too it is possible that God's "chisel" is evolution. It would make sense then that His work of art would take time and take on many forms. Or even never stop changing, if we are to assume that God is still present and involved and not some being that set things in motion and sat back to see what happened (as some people believe).
     To quote Albert Einstein: "Science without Religion is lame, Religion without Science is blind." - 1941, Science, Phylosophy and Religion: A Symposium.
     The two do not *have* to be mutually exclusive of one another. 
     Some people take offense to the idea that a day in Genesis 1 might not equal 24 hrs and those like to spout verses like "By him, were all things created," (Colossians 1:16) and Romans 1:25 – “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.”

     To those folks I have the following: Geologic time, by that definition is then incompatible with the Bible. If a day = a day, then in 168 hrs the world was created. Science would not have ANY merit, because EVERYTHING we know and understand about this world from a scientific standpoint, negates any possibility that the world was created in 168 hrs. There would not be any need to try and view Science and Religion as anything BUT mutually exclusive -- Science would be a complete lie. 

     This is plainly not the case. Thousands of years of scientific investigation has proved otherwise and if you still come down on the side who's opinion it is that the world was completed in 168 hrs then you should never see another doctor ever again; never take another drug; never undergo another surgery. ANY modern day convenience would not exist without scientific innovation and you should take that into consideration any time you use so much as a telephone or flush a toilet.

     If God is the instigator, the propagator of evolution, then Colossians 1:16 has not been altered and Romans 1:25 no longer applies to this situation. And just as an aside, Darwin, though he was given the credit for the 'discovery' was not the only or even the first to put evolution into words. He was just the first to publish on the topic. In fact, he had refrained from publishing on it for many many years because as a Christian he knew the sort of backlash it was going to receive. 

     Why then did he publish it anyway? Because he, like all other human beings, was a prideful sinner and wanted the credit to be all his when a young man in his field naïvely sent him a copy of a manuscript outlining Darwin's own thoughts and wanted Darwin's "expert" opinion as to the validity of his conclusions. The young man's name: Alfred Russell Wallace.


Which finally brings me to….


Religion/Jesus Christ
     You may have picked up on it in the evolution section, bit if you didn’t: I am a Christian. I’m a bit of an unconventional Christian though.

     Some background, I lost my faith in high school. But I regained my faith in college…through science. The more I learned about biology the more I knew that this whole world must be orchestrated by some higher being. While in college I read a fantastic book by Yann Martel called The Life of Pi. My pastor actually had this book on our reading list. It is a must read for anyone. In it the main character Pi, questions why you cannot belong to more than one religion. The most poignant line I read in that book:

"If there's only one nation in the sky, shouldn't all passports be valid for it?" [A question asked by Pi when the truth is out that he has been practicing Hinduism, Christianity and Muslimism.]

     Later I came across another book that I believe all people should be encouraged to read: A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. You can’t see the statistics, the vast complexity of life and NOT believe in something greater than yourself. Lastly I challenge anyone to study the array of religions humans have devised and tell me that at their core the majority of them are not basically carrying the same message.

     For practical purposes, I am a practicing Lutheran – ELCA. I find comfort in the liturgy of the Lutheran church. The services are doctrinal, didactic and musically rich.

     As to Jesus, I know he existed and I believe that what he was capable of doing and what he DID do was true. Science is even beginning to shore all of these suppositions up. However, many use John 3:16 – 21 as evidence that those who do not believe in Jesus will not join God in eternal life. In general, I hate to pick and choose aspects of the Bible in which to place credence or otherwise. But as you may have picked up already, I do not believe the Bible to be the actual Word of God. It is a human made instrument, that probably does not miss the mark as to it’s meaning (ie. the Word of God is intact in meaning, if interpreted in more than one way). 

     To lean on the character, Pi’s, passport analogy: When you go to a foreign country you do not have to book passage in exactly the same way as all others traveling to that country. You can arrive by boat, maybe train or car, you can fly! Those of go by plane, train or boat have multiple carriers through which to book passage. In the same way, I believe that belief in Jesus is one way to book passage into the eternal life. But I cannot hold with the idea that he is the only passage.

06 October 2010

Day 08 – A moment, in great detail

On the heels of talking about my best friend, Carly, I'm going to talk about my "other" best friend -- my husband and the moment when I knew he was it.

We hadn't been dating for very long actually; 2-ish months if memory serves me correctly. He was getting ready to go to KY for BNCOC for 6 weeks and I had been having particular troubles with my mom. I was currently living at home while getting my alternative certification to be a teacher so butting heads with Mom was reminiscent of those days when you're a teenager. But as a post-graduate 20-something, being treated like a teenager was more wearing and taxing on my sanity than it was back then. Being the boomerang returning home leaves the "child" with a sense of failure that they couldn't just up and start their "real" life and the parent without a current frame of reference as to who their child is after being away from home for so long.

He was amazing during that time -- listened with opened ears, understood where I was coming from, never told me to stop whining, even discouraged me from bad-mouthing my momma. But he was leaving, remember? About a week before he left, he gave me a key to his apartment. I told him I didn't need it, there was nothing to look after in the apartment because he had no animals, etc. But he insisted that I take it in case I needed a place to escape to while he was gone.

As it turned out he was right! While he was gone there were a couple of times where it was nice to have someplace else to escape to in order to avoid the backlash my mom had for me, etc. I didn't move in with him after he got back either, fyi. But one night soon after he returned we had an awesome evening. Nothing fancy just dinner out and a movie and then he dropped me back off at my parents and drove the hour back to his place.

I tossed and turned all that night. Nothing was wrong, really, just that nothing was right either. Which was absolutely nuts because we'd had really great time just hanging out with one another. But about 5am I figured out what wasn't right.

While still in my PJs I jumped in my car, filled up at the gas station and drove out to his place. I used my key to get into the apartment and crawled right into bed next to him. It was sweet and innocent. [We didn't have sex then or for a while after this "moment."]

But as I snuggled up next to him and he wordlessly threw his arms around me I realized that next to him was where I was meant to be, and it was an awesome moment.

04 October 2010

Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail

Best friend is a fairly relative term. If we're talking my longest-closest friend that would be Shannon. We met in kindergarten/church/piercing pagoda. Actually that last bit is funny, we've never pierced any portion of our ears without each other. I was in her wedding 4 years ago and we have regularly stayed in touch even though she moved away while we were still children. I wanted her in my wedding but finances and small children and traveling 800 miles wasn't in the cards.

There's my closest friend from college, Amy. We met through our church group and we share many more interests in common than me and Shan. She loves science, children and history just about as much as I do. Ames was a bridesmaid in my wedding and was completely indispensable.

But my very best friend, the one who I can tell anything, the one who's seen me at my worst and my best and loves every part of me is Carly.

Carly and I have known each other since middle school. We were in a few classes throughout middle school but we didn't really start clicking until high school. We had a lot of the same teachers, were both in the band. We started to hang out a lot more outside of school. Carls is quirky, intelligent. She's the one who got me interested in poi and The Internet (LJ first, Facebook, Google Mail).

The summer before she went off to law school we ran away to Europe for 33 days. I bought a car in France and we drove all throughout France, Germany, England, Scotland and Ireland. We slept in the car, we slept in our tent at campgrounds, in hostels and hotels. We visited my relatives and the ancestral lands of both Irish family and my Welsh side. LOADS of awesome memories! At a campground outside of Edinburgh we pitched the tent in the late arrivals section and made friends with some awesome guys from the Netherlands who had ex-pat to New Mexico and then left after their visas expired. We sat up late that night drinking Scottish wine around a fire discussing Tex Mex and where we were headed next. Carls is a neo-pagan and Stonehenge is interesting enough on it's own, but I surprised her with tickets inside the stones during sunrise. It was almost like the stones were singing; even to a Christian such as myself it was a very awe inspiring experience. Soooo many neat and awesome adventures that summer living out of a car with her. She was my maid of honor at my wedding. She recently got engaged (yay!) and I was in on the whole thing, helping her fiance pick out her ring and talking wedding stuffs.

She's unconventional, yes. Not the person I would have chosen to be my best friend if I'd had much choice, but fate/God is a funny thing. Never quite could escape each other and despite all of our differences we came to discover how similar we are. Just enough different to make it awesome! (Granted the ways in which we are different are kind of B.I.G. but we're able to accept each other as we are and love each other like sisters anyway. She is definitely the family I've chosen, as opposed to the family I was born into.)

28 September 2010

This is going to sound sucky

I figured out today that I am currently only earning $2 more per hour than I did 10 years ago as a senior in high school (accounting for inflation with an inflation calculator). And that is only assuming that my salary only covers 40 hrs a week. (I was pulling 35 per week as a senior, the amount of money I am making now should be at least somewhat comparable to then.)

If I take into account that I actually spend closer to 65 hrs a week then I made $3.25 more as a senior in high school per hour, than I am right now.

That.

is.

NOT.

Right.

As an 18 yr old I was living at home, did not have a car payment, no utilities whatsoever, no student loans, no ANYTHING (ok so maybe I paid for my own gas, but I never spent more than about $10-15 per fill up).

Now I am nearly 28, paying rent, car notes, utilities, LOTS OF STUDENT LOANS, and in generally trying to pay for everything else.....with only $2 more to my name per hour of (official) work.

And they wonder why more people don't get into teaching.


HUMPH!

26 September 2010

Day 06 – Your day, in great detail

My day was fairly boring.

0730 - wake up the family (this means dogs) go pee
0830 - wake up the husband [...]
0900 - begin work on chemical defense paper for chemical ecology course
1030 - eat breakfast (eggs and english muffins)
lots of work on paper, lots of peeing, lots of getting husband caught up on House: Season 6
1330 - eat lunch (grilled cheese with ramen)
lots of work on paper, lots of peeing, lots of getting husband caught up on House: Season 6
1730 - finish work on paper (If you're interested in Monarchs, Giant Swallowtails or Spanish flies)
1830 - eat dinner (pizza from the frozen food isle)

obviously the day is not quite done. but it won't be any more interesting. I need to get caught up on grading before going to bed tonight and prep for a lab with my Advanced Integrated Science kiddos tomorrow.

sorry for being so boring!

on an awesome note, one more week with kids/students and then i get an entire week off from them!!! i have NEVER been more excited to get a break from the kids before in my entire life. 5 days and counting!

18 September 2010

Day 05 - Your Definition of Love

This is "borrowed," it's obviously not something I put together. BUT! It completely sums up everything I could ever hope to write about L-O-V-E.


Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

16 September 2010

Day 04 - What you ate today

So I had a little bit of Coke Zero (24 oz total for the day, maybe). But that didn't sit well. So I ate a stack of Saltines. Which was ok. Then around dinner time (8-ish?) I used a coupon for a free Snack Wrap with a Med. Wild Berry Smoothie at McDonald's. I threw in some Med. Fries too.

The End.

13 September 2010

Day 03 - Parents in Great Detail

So, my parents in great detail...

Well, there's my mom Trudy. She's an elementary math teacher, she's a diabetic with Charcot's syndrome in her feet. She has a history of not taking care of herself physically. She recently had a gastric bypass done in a last ditch effort to lose weight. It seems to be going well, but I do worry that after losing the weight, once she's able to eat normally again that she'll gain it all back in effect nullifying the surgery. We are not close. She is pushy and overbearing and as she's fond of saying, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody gonna be happy." While she never outwardly said she'd have been upset if I had brought home low grades, it was mostly implied that that would be a no-no. She had a hard time (still does actually) letting me make and be responsible for my own mistakes. She hasn't always done right by me, but I know she means well. It was in a word difficult growing up with her as my mom, but she's still my mom and I love her. And for all that I don't like to admit it we have similar personality traits.

My dad is Frank. Actually, that's his middle name and despite his mother hating that he did so, he's gone by his middle name since elementary school. My dad is 9 years older than my mom and they met in a band. He is very much the nerdy technology guy, sort of comes with the territory because he's a recording arts engineer for a university local to their house. Much as I love my dad, he can be a bit of a pushover. There were many times growing up that I'd go to him complaining that Mom was treating me unjustly and he would agree with me that she could have handled it better, but when push came to shove it was never enough for him to actually stand up for me against her even when he probably should have. It takes a lot to make my dad blow over in anger and he tends to take the path of least resistance whenever possible. His short comings aside, he's a genuine, loving and insightful man and I felt closer to him growing up than he probably realized (certainly felt closer to him than to my own mother most times).

My parents have been married to each other for 30 years now so they must be doing something right. Between my mom's losing weight and my dad's natural inclination to be healthy as a horse hopefully they've got another 30 years coming. All in all I'm glad they're my parents as they have most certainly shaped who I am as a person, and I'm very glad that they're not any more quirky or weird than they already are or else who knows how I would have turned out!

06 September 2010

First Love in Great Detail

Honestly, I'm not sure who I would consider my first love actually.

My first real boyfriend was a guy in middle school named Chris. Would I call him my first love? Hard to say we were in love at any point, mostly because it was an age thing. It was also pretty short lived.

The next big thing that came along was a kid named Kyle. That lasted on and off from middle school through about my sophomore year of H.S. We've always been pretty good friends, fair amount in common. We were both in band, we had birthdays near each other, he was just shy of a year ahead of me. We had this thing for Kermit and Piggy. He's in large part the reason why I had an obsession with frogs throughout H.S. Oddly enough, our relationship ended because we argued about whether or not he would play his instrument for an Easter celebration at my church. (I'm also fairly sure that his mother was not a fan of me. She was nice enough, even to my face and all. I think she didn't like how "serious" Kyle and I were -- though our relationship never ever went past kissing and hand-holding. Considering who he dated next and what all they ended up doing, he was "safer" with me!) In retrospect, our relationship was immature and might have had a better chance to workout if we had been older. By the time we got near the end of H.S. we were back to being fairly good friends however each of us were in relationships that were as serious as you could get being high schoolers. An interesting fact about "us" is that we had made a pact my freshman year of college that if neither of us were married by 27 and not in serious relationships that'd we'd get married. He's happily married with 2 kids now. And of course I'm married too.

We tend to talk every once in a while but not too often. Truth be told it's probably better off that we both were married before 27, he's got some pretty crack pot ideas about life which I can tolerate in a friend but couldn't in a marital companion.

03 September 2010

Five for Friday

Yesterday my school held an assembly in which a man named Larry Scott, the uncle of the first Columbine shooting victim - Rachel Scott, talked to our students about living kinder and better. It was a very touching assembly and it seemed that what he had to say resonated with many of the kiddos. The basic tenants of what is now called Rachel's Challenge are my inspiration for today's Five for Friday:

#1 Look for the best in others
#2 Choose positive influences
#3 Write goals/diary/journal
#4 Little acts of kindness go a long way
#5 Start a chain reaction

What's most amazing to me about Rachel's role in the Columbine tragedy is the back story. You can do loads of web searching and find out about the entire incident including timelines and history about the shooters and those who were killed and injured. Rachel's Challenge on its own is nothing new. We're all told as children growing up to look for the best in others. Our teachers and families warn us against the dangers of choosing bad influences. I, for one, remember being raised on the belief that small acts of kindness have lasting effects. Writing your goals and dreams out, the concept of starting chain reactions, while not specifically taught to me as a way to improve life are not so far fetched as to seem unobtainable or impossible. Sitting there listening to a stranger pretty much preaching about these 5 actions and how people ought to be doing them, one questions: "What makes it different listening to this man as opposed to some other?"

And of course the answer to that is Rachel herself.

Unless you've been to a Rachel's Challenge assembly or are obsessed with all things related to the Columbine tragedy you've probably not heard much more about her other than that she was the first of 13 to die that day. However her history, her back story, is nothing short of awe inspiring. She was an ordinary teenager with an overflowing love of God. But most teenagers don't make statements that they're going to die young with complete peacefulness and without any shade of depression or suicidal emphasis. Nearly 11 months to the day before her death her journal entry for the day read simply: "This will be my last year, Lord. I have gotten what I can. Thank you." She was constantly writing to her friends, her family members and in her assignments about an idealized world in which everyone spread kindness by way of a chain reaction. As a 13 year old girl, she drew outlines of her hands on the back of her dresser and wrote within them: "These hands belong to Rachael Joy Scott and someday will touch millions of people's hearts." It wasn't discovered that she had done this until 2.5 years after the shootings; after her friends and family had started the Rachel's Challenge outreach.


Several of her last poems written were of an odd nature because they mentioned the halls of Columbine HS as "halls of tragedy." One poem she wrote near the time of the incident ended with the lines:
"I'm dying, quickly my soul leaves,
slowly my body withers.
It isn't suicide,
I consider it homicide.
The world you have created
has lead to my death."

Frank Amedia, of Ohio, after seeing Rachel's funeral on CNN started having visions of eyes connected to Rachel crying onto something below, watering a plant of some kind. For several days he had this vision and finally decided to contact Rachel's dad, Darrell. Frank expressed his sympathy at Darrell's loss, told Darrell about his vision and then asked if it had any meaning to their family. At the time it meant nothing to Darrell, but Frank was not put off. He asked for Darrell to take his name and number and to call him if later on the vision had any uncovered meaning. Darrell put the number in his desk thinking he'd never have reason to call Frank back. Seven days later when the police released Rachel's book bag back to her family her last journal entry was simply this drawing:


It's a little unnerving if you think about it. A complete stranger knew of this drawing before anyone could speak of its significance. Not 45 minutes prior to the shooting taking place, Rachel was in her English class with her teacher, Mrs. Carruthers. The teacher saw Rachel drawing the image near the end of class and after inquiring about it Rachel proclaimed: "Mrs. Carruthers, I'm going to have an impact on the world!"What's perhaps the most unnerving thing about the image: If you count carefully there are 13 tears falling from the eyes, exactly the same number of victims that were shot and killed.

All I know is that it is very clear that God intended to use Rachel as a vessel. He gave her the premonitions of a short life; He gave her the strength to be at peace with her knowledge of living a short life; He gave her the opportunity to live her life in love and be secure in the knowledge that she could touch millions to their core.
It is a very amazing story and I'm thankful I got a chance to be reminded of what is needed to lead a useful life.

28 August 2010

So I've decided

to follow a few others of my friends by following Jenny on the 30 Great Details. Day 1 being to introduce yourself.

So here goes. =)

My name is Meg and I'm 27. I'm a high school science teacher currently teaching chemistry and something called advanced integrated science (basically chemistry, physics, earth and space science all rolled into one). My husband is in the military and has been for the last 14 years. I actually never intended to marry the military. Every generation of my family has had military members and I've seen what constant upheaval does to a family and didn't really want that for my life. Also said I'd never become a teacher after growing up a teacher's daughter. God's seen fit to make me eat my words, I'm just happy enough that we've got 6 yrs left before my husband can retire with benefits. I'm also truly blessed to be in a profession that I'm talented at and enjoy (though I could do without all the b.s. that inevitably comes with the territory).

As I've said before our current assignment makes for a pretty miserable life, but part of what keeps me going is our two beautiful dogs. We've got a Catahoula Leopard dog named Stella Artois and a Plott Hound named Guinness. They're both girls, about a year and a half apart in age. Guinea turns 2 in November and Stel will be 4 in April. They're usually pretty good girls. Stel was a terror until she hit 2. (One time she ran off while we were off roading in the Jeep and brought us back 8 head of longhorns....) She mellowed a lot when we got Guinea. Now Guinea is the wild one. 

Right now they're our surrogate children and have their Daddy wrapped around their little paws. It makes me crazy sometimes how the hubs gives into them. He's the reason why they're up on the furniture and in the bed with us (makes for close to 500 lbs of flesh in the bed at night). He gives them table scraps and extra helpings of kibble. When he's gone for long periods of time they shape up because Mama sticks rules to them. It makes me worried about when we possibly have girl children. A blonde haired, blue-eyed little girl with curly hair will have Daddy wrapped round her fingers faster than chain lightning and I'll be the "bad guy" the rest of my life. Suffice to say children are on the horizon in the near future and I'd be lying if I didn't say I'll be hoping for boys. We haven't officially decided when to try for kids, but it'll be soon as neither of us wants me to be too much older and we don't want to stack kids too close together.

Other than that I'm also a graduate student right now. Makes work and home life interesting; I'm stretched pretty thin. But a masters degree falls nicely into my plans for the future and it's in a subject area that I'm vastly interested in. My research from the summer gave me awesome insight for what I'd like to do in the future when I one day go for my PhD.

That oughta be enough for Day 1 of introduction. =)

27 August 2010

I'm not so good at this...

blogging that is!

So it's been a few days and not a whole lot to note. Well there is plenty to note, but not stuff that I'm comfortable sharing with the web at large. Suffice to say I have a few students this year that are EXTREMELY anxiety prone with helicopter parents. I like for parents to be involved. I like for students to care about and take pride in their work. However, I'm fairly sure this is excessive involvement on both sides and it's going to end up with me being stressed to the hilt; defending my teaching practices and spending time that I literally don't have making extra extra contact with the parents. I mean it's only the end of the 3rd week of school and I've got a whole littering of parent conferences scheduled over grades that aren't anywhere near failing. (And all of my parent conferences are about grades, none about behavior issues....I'm starting to miss those a bit.)

I've done the whole, going over how to answer questions on a test. I give them exam reviews to help them focus their studying efforts. We do on average 3-4 graded exercises on *each* tested concept and a handful of exercises where there is no grade. I make every use of technology possible, but throw back regularly to "old school" techniques. I seriously try to hit it all. I spend the vast majority of my time up at work, getting there an hour before I have to and regularly staying as much as 2+ hrs after when I technically can leave. There genuinely is not much more that I could possibly do.

What my students tend to fail to recognize is that chemistry is unlike anything they've ever seen before. Science in general is its own language. Then there's the focus on vocabulary terms. And in Chemistry there's LOADS of math, but not any math; math where your focus is not on just the numbers themselves, but the units and labels that go along with said numbers. And as if that weren't enough, the kiddos still need to grasps the chemistry concepts themselves. The way I liken it to my students is that a chemistry course is like 4 courses at once. It's a LOT of work! If you're used to not having to do much work to get your A in another class, expect to get a C or a B in Chemistry if you're not willing to up the time you personally spend on grasping the concepts in the course. 

Of course they belly-ache about this, a lot. But that's how it is and I can't change that. Chemistry doesn't care if you're a regular ed student or an honors student -- the concepts don't change. And while my expectations of mastery are different between my regular ed kids and the honors kids this class still tends to demand more effort on the part of the student to keep their grade at a level they deem appropriate.

Pretty much just a pain in the butt.


In light of me trying to end things on positive notes: (1) I'm pretty sure I figured out how to get my ActivBoard and ActiVotes configured for use on my work computer. This was a HUGE accomplishment as the other day everything went to hell in a handbasket *while* I was teaching. (2) I had major break throughs with my Advance Integrated Science class today as we went over the test they just took. They're finally starting to learn logical processes of elimination and how they should approach any sort of summative assessment. (3) In my last class of the day I had a couple of kids -a- express that they were *finally* interested in science -b- voice that they were understanding how to take tests and -c- a (science) teacher's greatest dream: that a few of them are now wanting to consider a future in science. I've had kids say this last one before in years past, but today's comments to that effect seemed extremely genuine. Yay for bringing kids to science! [That last line sounds a little evangelistic, and the really cool thing was that I was able to garner this unsolicited interest from the students without contradicting religion. "We've" learned that religion and science don't have to be mutually exclusive!]

21 August 2010

If you see a new face...

Some of you WOLlies may have noticed that you have a new follower as of today! I found Jenny yesterday (?) and now I've found a few more of you.

Feel free to pop in and say high, ask me questions. I haven't been on WOL much lately and probably won't be on here much more than to check other blogs and maybe a short post here and there. (I know it seems like in the last few days I've been on here constantly, but it does take work to set one of these things up, heh.)

20 August 2010

No Need for Negativity Today!

I received an email while at work today from my university's financial aid office saying that my financial aid package had been updated to reflect recent changes. I was unaware of any impending changes and so immediately my head and heart jumped to the worst conclusion, that I had lost some sort of eligibility.

After getting home I logged in to see what my new package looked like only to find out that a "Private Scholarship" had been applied to my account! Between sucking the DoD dry of my last MyCAA payment before the new fiscal year and this new Private Scholarship I only have to worry about paying for my course NEXT summer! 

I have NO idea where this Private Scholarship has come from, but it seems I've got a mystery benefactor of some sort out there! Normally I'd be wary, but it's already been applied to my account so I can't see any reason for the school to "take it away" from me later. I am beyond jazzed!!!

God is Good!


19 August 2010

The Downward Spiral

People who already know who I am are aware that I am a military spouse. In fact, the folks that know about and read this site are probably military spouses themselves. As most people can imagine there are things both good and bad about being affiliated with the military.

The past 14 months for me has been overwhelmingly in the "bad" camp. My husband's current post has proved to be nothing short of miserable. Sure the place is pretty to look at and the weather is better than what I'm used to. But, I have no friends and not for lack of trying. I have no church home, again, not for lack of trying. The people I work with are nice enough, but my job largely consists of excessive amounts of paperwork and to-do lists. This year it is never ending stress as they have me teaching a new course that has no textbook and next to no real resources. It's like flying by the seat of your pants every day and I'm uncomfortable. The nature of my husband's job is such that I hardly see him even though he's not deployed. The damage our respective jobs have on our personal psyches and on our relationship is unreal.

To say that these last 14 months have left me depressed is an understatement. 10 months to go and we're home-free; off to wherever the military deems comes next.

I don't want to dwell on wholly negative things so here's my positive: I am secure in the knowledge that this assignment is only temporary. I can last the 6 months until we get to find out where we go next and in 10 months I'll be there, with God's good grace.

The Name

I'm not sure how having a Blogger will work out for me. But I figured I'd at least explain why my journal is titled as it is.

πλάνητες αστέρι (pronounced planetes asteri) is Greek for wandering star.

Those who already know me know that I am not Greek. But Greek (and Latin) are the languages of science (and religion!). Those who already know me additionally know that I am a scientist and educator. My students are always rolling their eyes when I tell them to learn the language of science by gaining a better understanding of Greek and Latin word parts. They're also genuinely surprised when I tell them that "We are all made of star stuff," to quote Stephen Hawking. 

I also have a fairly strong sense of pull towards the heavens/universe/cosmos or whatever adjective you choose to call it by. My heart and mind is ever watchful of the sky. Reflecting on the majesty of such a "place" invokes the very nature of God to take residence in one's being and can produce an incredible sense of longing, awe and even a deep sense of peace.

Perhaps the "wandering" term is the most vague. I have an inborn nature to move around. I can't sit/stand still in my classroom. I'm constantly looking for my next vacation idea. When given the chance I love a change in scenery and will jump on it. 

Often this wandering is imposed upon me. The nature of my husband's profession is such that we move frequently and not always to a destination of our choosing. It is these "forced" wanderings that lead me into an even greater sense of the term, as I search to find new friends, new homes (both spiritual and physical), new jobs, and more importantly new self. 

So there you have it.